I’m so happy and blessed that I could roll on the floor crying tears of joy right about now.  Today was an awesome day for me.  So many things went well at church.  I tend to feel amazing when I leave church but on much deeper levels today was special.

I battle with fear when it comes to singing solo / lead.  I thought this was obvious to everyone – especially since we use a huge projection screen at church.  A few weeks ago I shared this with our Music Director as I was feeling pretty bad about a small lead part I did in the service.  I got complements from several people but I couldn’t receive any of them.  I even got complements on the clothes I was wearing (which were new and I liked a lot) but i didn’t even feel good about that. I realized that this was my issue and things weren’t quite as bad as I was making them out to be.  I just was afraid of ‘messing up’ and even more afraid that I was bad and no one would tell me.  Me telling Fran (our Music Director) about how I felt along with talking about it in one of my groups really helped me to see just how my attitude was.  It was exposed and in the light and suddenly it didn’t seem so big.

Fast-forwarding to this week, I was given a lead part with two solo verses.  Fran really wanted me to pray about leading this song because the lyrics were definitely something that I could sing from my heart.

Sometimes at night
I am afraid
I cover my eyes,
Cover my shame
So here in the dark
Broken apart
Come with your light
And fill up my heart

Oh great light of the world
Fill up my soul
I’m half a man here
So come make me whole
Oh great light of the world
Come to impart
The light of your grace
To fill up my heart

— Great Light Of The World by Bebo Norman

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