Tag Archives: life

Good stuff… good days… and a better me!

Just wanted to update all 4 of you who actually read this blog. 😉 I’m doing well. I’m doing a lot of work to dig into my life and understand myself better. As a result, I’ve had several things just go well in the past few weeks.

Darren on a photo shootI’ve had two photo shoots with client/friends and I’m loving the new things I’m trying out with lighting and locations.  I had a great meeting with a new client – I’ll be doing several months of graphic design for their new ministry. I had a really healing conversation with my former boss and even confronted some things that I normally would have backed away from. And I’m asking for help with my business! I still have a ton more to do and learn, but I’m learning a better way to be me and that’s exciting.

With all this upgrading going on I also upgraded all my blogs to WordPress 2.7.1 today, part of me even writing this is because I wanted to take advantage of the new “QuickPress” feature where it makes writing a new post easy(ier).

Blessed Beyond Measure

Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. All days that have knocked my socks of with the amazing reality of how I have been blessed by God.

I hope to get around to blogging more about all of it later, but to put it quickly

Thursday – Day 1 of the 2-day Willow Creek Leadership Summit.  Great and challenging teaching and insights into leadership.

Friday – Day 2 of the Leadership Summit.  I had the opportunity to lift my voice in the choir closing session of the summut reaching tens of thousands across the country live via satelitte.  I had the opportunity to meet Bill Hybles and share a portion of my story and how God has blessed me through Willow Chicago.  I also took a risk and became a bit more transparent with someone at my church and I was accepted.

Saturday – given the opporunity to lead worship at my churches Lakeside Baptism. In wittnessing that awesome event I was overwhelmed with the beauty of what Baptism is – and its significance in the body of Christ.

Sunday – Had a great time of worship and teaching at church – hearing from one of my recent favorite authors: Dr. Henry Cloud.  After that spending the rest of the day with several friends having a great time.

These are just little ‘tidbits’ of my days, but it all adds up to me realizing that God is makinging something beautiful of my life.  There are some very difficult times, but on days like these – though money is tight and so many things are uncertain –  life can still be enjoyed and God is still providing reasons for joy.

Thank God for LIFE!

Darren on his 27th Birthday
Just a quick blog to say I’m greatful to God for 27 years of LIFE!
Refiner’s Fire
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold

Refiner’s fire
My heart’s one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You my Master
Ready to do Your will

Brian Doerksen / 1990 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing

Sunday December 3, 2006 – 10:21am (CST)

When the Encourager is tired of Encouraging Himself

Darren, tired in the office. What do you do when the encourager is tired of encouraging himself?

When your bootstraps have broken and your strength is gone… when you just can’t ‘get it together’ when you know it’s all your fault… the truth is the truth and it all points to you messing up.  When too much is on you to give up now, but moving a nother step in any direction is just as unbearable as standing still… when you’ve encouraged others and uplifted others, but can’t seem to uplift yourself right now.

What do you do when your sane enough not to do something crazy, but your life is crazy enough to make you want to do something insane?

I’m just tired and frustrated… I don’t want anybody to come and lay hands, I don’t want somebody to sit me down in their bible study… I don’t want someone to speak big words they got out of a dictionary to say the same things over and over again.  I’m tired of being treated like a ‘project’ to fix up, like a ‘broken and lost soul’, or like super man… I just want to find out how to live a simple life and be happy. I don’t want to chace after money to survive, I don’t want to bend and contort to the latest paradigms and concepts of how to look spiritual and sound authoritative.  I’m tired right now… I hurt inside… my weeks run together, my days blur by, and I can never see where a change will come for the better.

I don’t know how to do life… I don’t know how to make it work.  I’m tired of comming up short.  I’m tired of my words being used against me… and my silence being reason for reproof. I’m sick of being full of hope yet overcome by pressure and fear.

I want to be in God’s perfect will, but I know my will hasn’t been transformed yet.  I want to take it a day at a time and deal with it as it comes, but my past looks a whole lot like my present just with different people.

I don’t have the enery to be the support to those around me… yet I feel someone right now saying “he’s talking about “I” too much” and so I ask how do you do and give to everyone yet still be too concerned about yourself?  How do you maintain your body and health while still being availible and accountable for the demands of your job?

I love to worship…  but somehow life gets in the way… worship is timelss and boundeless… I feel so free, alive, real in worship.  I want that to overflow into the rest of my life.  We’re called to live a lifestyle of worship… but this present lifestyle looks like God isn’t gettting the glory.

I want to figure it out… but I always end up relying on someone’s way… and eventually that gets in the way.  All the “men of God” all the time management books, all the deliverance books and videos, all the sermons and prayer lines, all the stuff and things… I just want God… to be in his presence… the changes he makes in my life work and are real, but they never meet other folk’s expectations… or they don’t ‘manifest’ fast enough for them.

I’m just ‘venting’ I guess…

Friday October 20, 2006 – 12:45pm (CDT)

Week like Whoa!

Well it’s been a challenging week to say the least!  I’ve been feeling a lot like this lately:

Smoke, nothing but smoke. [That’s what the Quester says.]

There’s nothing to anything–it’s all smoke.

What’s there to show for a lifetime of work,

a lifetime of working your fingers to the bone?

One generation goes its way, the next one arrives,

but nothing changes–it’s business as usual for old

planet earth.
–Ecclesiastes 1:2-4 (The Message)

I’m not hopeless, but there some pretty despairing times that I face.  The main thing is that I’m realizing that there is alot in my life that I must face and that the change in my situations begin in me.  I’m still trusting God to redeem me and my life… I’ll write more soon, but know that I’m ok… I’m in God’s hands… and we’re gonna make it throug this too!


Sunday May 7, 2006 – 02:22pm (CDT)

best friends

Well hello all. Told ya I was going to write again soon. I figured I would take a minute to talk about Corey: my best friend / brother.

We met in the fall of ’98 and my life has not been the same since. He’s been the true meaning of a friend and has stood by me upholding the truth through the worst of times.

Now he’s happily married to a beautiful wife, and they have a wonderful son. They are expecting a little girl in March.

I just wanted to share with you my buddy. I’m blogging from my phone so I’ll get a better picture up later.

UPDATE 3/5/06: I’m finally adding the better picture I promised

Friday December 23, 2005 – 06:06pm (CST)