Hey Friends and Family,

I just wanted to share a blog post that beautifully sums up the “I’m Sorry” campaign I participated in at the Gay Pride parade in Chicago this past Sunday with The Marin Foundation.  The echoing reactions have been powerful and people across the country have been inspired to take action toward reconciliation with the Gay community.

From Nathan’s Blog Post:

…
“What I saw and experienced at Pride 2010 was the beginning of reconciliation. It was in the shocked faces of gay men and women who did not ever think Christians would apologize to them.”

It’s actions like this that I think are essential to restoring broken relationships with the disenfranchised.  I don’t think one has to argue or debate the religious beliefs about homosexuality to say from one individual or group to another “I’m sorry for what I / we have done to hurt you”. If living out life as Christ would live in our current circumstances is our goal, then I think this speaks to the reality of what that might look like.

Even to those that say that this is a “nice try” or “just a start” I think that our actions as a group as well as individually will show in the long run how authentic our actions are.  The reality is that no single event that any of us could do is going to undo all the wrong and balance society into perfect harmony.  However, we can use the best of what we have to move in that direction.

Please share your thoughts and questions and be sure to check out Nathan’s blog here.

(Photo Credit: Michelle at maladjustedmedia.com)

Check out the above article for some great points about unhealthy ways we approach spirituality.  I’m currently reading The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero and it’s digging up some very key points in how we do church and relate to each other.

In many ways I feel like I’ve told my “same old sad story” about the challenges I’ve faced in life and specifically in church.  Because I hear myself tell it so much, I feel like I’m going to be that old guy who is always reliving war stories and never really doing much else.  Today in part helped me realize that that’s not the case for me.  The reality is that I’m meeting new people and building brand-new relationships.  These new people don’t instantly get a complete picture of me so I have to over time share more of myself with them.  The beauty about that is that we grow closer in the process and I gain a bit more understanding each time.  Also, the purpose of sharing my story isn’t to relive it, but rather to learn more about my process and to take action in writing a new ending.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16 (NIV)

Today I had a long over-due meeting with my church.  I was able to share some very personal and raw areas of my life and get a renewal of their commitment to walk with me through it all.  Because of some very negative experiences in similar situations in the past, events like these stir apprehension and fear. What’s amazing is to go into a situation that has turned out so terribly in the past and to discover that there are other healthy people out there who have the same goals and aspirations as you do.  It’s so affirming to be in a healthy church even though it’s not a perfect church.  I underlined “to each other” and “for each other” in the above scripture because the events of today underscored the two-way  relationship of accountability and healing in relationships. Each party must be able to own their part of what’s wrong, but also pray and support the other.

*Sigh* this is all vague now, but I hope to begin to retell this story with clarity soon. Thanks for listening.

–Darren

A few things that I think worked for us:

• Timing – For the past few weeks our church has been focused serving and giving.  Last Sunday we had a short service and then an event in the park where the congregation brought donations for 8 Chicagoland charitable organizations.  They were also able to sign up for ongoing serving opps with those groups.  This week, the service had a special 10-minute drama segment (with dance, music, lighting, and video) to really promote the opportunity to Inspire Others.  One woman remarked “It was great that we got everyone involved in serving the City and after that turned our attention to how to serve within the church”.  I hope to get part of the video posted (have to ask permission first!)
• Opportunity – This was the first event of its kind for us.  Being a ‘mobile church’ (having church in a space where we have to pack everything up every Sunday) fellowship times can be quite limited after service ends.  There were a LOT of new faces as well as people who’ve been around but we didn’t know what talents they have to share.

There are several next steps to figure out, but this was a big one and I’m glad that it was an enjoyable time for so many.  One gentleman commented “I was really hesitant to come since I didn’t know if my gifts would fit… now I’ve had such a great time meeting people, I’m one of the last people to leave!”

Our new serving season starts in October (and a BUSY season it will be!)  A HUGE THANKS goes out to everyone who volunteered to help make things happen today at Church and the Reception!

How To Build A Rockin Praise Band

• The team should work it’s best to help the Worship Leader do the best they can do in leading the congregation
• Keep room for creativity in rehearsals
• People first experience music as entertainment – so it must be engaging / exciting enough to capture their attention before it will be able to minister to their souls.
• Get on the phone or have conversations before the day of rehearsal to get the creative juices flowing within the band
• Brokenness and Celebration are key to a worship band. To really build community, people must be able to bring their pain and challenges as well as be able to celebrate their victories within the team.
• To help your sound tech learn your expectations for the mix  -  watch a concert DVD on Mute with him or her and ask them to point out what sounds should be ‘in focus’ during various shots / parts of the concert.
• Bands should rehears the musical pad / fill / open spaces that happen in services.
• Layer rehearsals by doing each song for about 7-8 minutes then moving on to the next song. Repeat this process until each song has been rehearsed several times to improve memory / retention

Building and Audition System with Jason Hathey from The Journey Church

• Churches everywhere often share the same challenges.  “Go with what God gives you”
• The Majority of worship team members have a different ‘daytime’ profession
• Ministry / Serving is a pathway to Discipleship – people who are engaged in serving are more likely to be taking steps to grow in their faith to be come Christ-like, and to serve like Christ
• Auditioning is key in part because God has put us in a place to protect the platform where we worship.
• We don’t want people to only be committed to the team but also to the church.
• Make serving something that can be done in seasons – allow people to take a break – and have someone to replace them.
• Keep people in a place where they will succeed.
• Make an Audio recording of important meetings or orientation so that everyone can listen and learn even if they missed the meeting.

Inspiring Your Church to Worship – with Sam Middlebrook of DevelopingWorship.com

This was one of the most powerful sessions I’ve ever experienced at Willow Creek!

• Why People Don’t Engage in Musical Worship: 1) people don’t know Jesus as Savior and Lord. 2) They know Him as Savior but not as Lord. 3) They refuse to worship outside of their musical preference. They Worship songs, not the Lord. 4) they come from a tradition of reverence – which is actually a modern tradition.
• We often haven’t looked at what should go into our worship.
• Paul and Silas (Acts 16) were praising God in jail – it’s part of who they were. Praise is a common thread in the life of believers.
• Praise is 1) a response to God’s goodness. 2) gives us perspective on who God is verses who we are, 3) is based on God’s character and the things he does for his Children, 4) is a function of our will – not just our emotions.  Our emotions will motivate us to action.
• How we can be biblically inspired to Worship:
  • Lifting our Hands – Psalm 63
  • Clapping our Hands
  • Playing of Instruments
  • Standing – Nehemiah 9:5
  • Kneeling / Bowing – Psalm 95
  • Singing  – Psalm 47
  • Dancing and Leaping – Psalm 149
  • Shouting
• Every Believer should use all eight of those expressions in different seasons of praising God.
• These are the ways God has shown us in the scriptures that he likes to be loved.
• Worship is respect for the Holiness of God
• Worship is an intimate language of Love that comes from the attitude of our heart.
• Mark 12:41-44 – draws attention to not only what she gave, but just how much everyone else had been holding back in the offering of their lives.
• God sees when we hold back our lives and our praise.
• Preach to the excited the importance of Stillness and Reverence
• Preach to the Reverent the importance of Excitement
• Worship Leading is Teaching as well.

This scripture is written to those who deserve punishment… to sinners, to people who have messed up. God addresses that very people and says that 1) HE’S the one who will save them and that 2) he’s delighting in the process. I reminded my friend that God wasn’t ‘shocked’ by what happened but was ready with grace and hope for him in spite of it. We forget that to qualify for being a Christian we by definition need to admit being sinners in need of a savior. Instead of wallowing in the guilt of our own sinfulness, why not reach up and embrace the Savior who will then turn back our enemies? He’s GOOD AT THIS! We have a Mighty Warrior ready to fight our battles great and small. The power to overcome IS IN HIM!

The song says “Shine your light and let the whole world see, we’re singing for the Glory of the risen King, Jesus!” We have a light to shine because of what God has done and continues to do for and in us. What an awesome privilege it is to be called to shine for our Mighty Savior!

Watch Song Video: Mighty To Save »

Photo © 2009 S. Bailey

Wow! This week at the Willow Creek Arts Conference, Nancy Beach encouraged us to embrace the “wow” moments that we often look past. This week has been a continual state of ‘wow’. I’m so full of wonder and inspiration to dig deeper, stretch further, and grow more as a creative professional, as a worship leader, and as a Christ-follower. I’m embracing a greater awareness my calling and the experience that God has equipped me with. My idle thoughts are racing with new realizations and greater aspirations. I’m seeing this new energy affect things around me.  Taking risks and responsibilities that I wouldn’t have taken before.

This Sunday Willow Chicago focused in on the basics of our worship in a “Back To Basics” service.  We took the time to explain a few of the “why’s” in church – for communion and our corporate worship experience.  The message – “Why We Sing” was given by Darren Whitehead and was excellent!  God stirred in our all of our hearts and I took a big step of faith.  I felt there was no way we should close out a service like this without corporately responding in song to God.  That’s when Fran, our Worship Leader lets me know that we’re going to sing the chorus to a song to close out.  It was one of the songs that we’d sung earlier in the service, but it seemed like there was another song that would fit there better.  “Our God Reigns” came to mind as a simple song that the congregation could easily join in singing praise of and two God.  The problems in my mind were 1) the band hadn’t rehearsed playing the song, 2) it hadn’t been included in the ‘program’ for an extra song to be in the service. But in an act of doubt and risk, I told Fran what was on my heart to sing.  He agreed to the same problems I was thinking – then talked to our Campus pastor and called the worship team together to let them know we were doing the song!

I was shaky (and in different key) when it started off, but I pushed past my uncertainty and soon the entire congregation was singing beautifully and with heart-felt passion to God!  A few people even came up after the service to share how powerful the worship time was today.  I’m soooo glad I didn’t let my own fear get in the way of the unexpected plans that God had for us today.  This week I renewed my dedication to being  all that God has called me to be – and not to let me doubts and insecurities about how that might be received hold me back.  Indeed… OUR GOD IS REIGNING in my heart and life.

Our God Reigns – Reprise (Live At Willow Creek Album Version) – Delirious?

I’ll be posting as much as I can from the conference which is Wednesday June, 10th through Friday June 12.

These are my notes / recap of my favorite moments and quotes from today.  Oh… and by the time this post goes live, it won’t actually be ‘live’ but oh well.  It was an exciting title.  The notes are after the break.

Also, I had the neat experience of connecting to other Twitter users real time at the conference. I one of the vendors exclaimed my name when he saw me walk up to the table! He’d seen my tweets about the conference and recognized me from my picture on my profile.  Earlier in the day I connected with a stranger who happened to be in the same breakout session.  Even leading up to the conference, I found friends of mine who were also going to the conference.  It’s neat to see social networking in action IN REAL LIFE!  Now on to the notes…

Day 1 Opening and 1st Session:

• Opening: “Worship Leader Warm-up” – great parodies of our worship leader stereotypical moves (the microphone clap, the holding your chest while singing, the jumps we do… the clothes and styles that are popular right now).  Absolutely a fun and funny way to start the conference and set the tone!
• “I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord” – Jeremiah 29:11 – a wonderful song was addressed to worship leaders as we struggle and press in what God has called us to do.
• I also enjoyed the dance / drama that talked about the inspiration and frustration of the creative process – realizing that what we do still comes from someone greater than ourselves (God).
• Realizing the Key Enemies of Wonder (Wonder is where where creativity is cultivated).  Top enemies of wonder for me were: Hurry, Noise, Information Overload, Unrealistic expectations, and the Absence of Celebration. (I have to actively work against those in order to overcome)
• Never forget the moment when you realized the awesomeness of this: “Jesus loves me”
• Take time to enjoy life.
• Top people I’m thankful for in the moment: Nick, Fran, Dr. Rodney, Sha, Willow Church Fam, Michael, Cheryl, Latrice, my small group
• I still have to get Shauna Niequest’s book: “Cold Tangerines” – I absolutely love her writing that draws you from the colorful details of everyday life to a celebration of thanks for all that God has made.
• Isaiah 29:13-14 – when our hearts were far from God – when we worshiped out of habit and grew cold, God responded by astounding us with wonder upon wonder. – what a powerful thought!
  

Session 2:  Interview with Darlene Zschech and Hillsong United leader Joel Houston

• Building a Worship Culture: “Serve the Lord with Gladness” – Psalm 100 and Psalm 45: God will anoint us (worship leaders) with the oil of Joy (gladness) and set us above our companions  – this is literally the call of a worship leader.  it’s humbling to see exactly how God calls us out and equips us.
• Intentionality in developing teams / leaders: being intentional about building pathways for people to find and develop their gift for leading in worship.
• Training is done weekly: Spiritual teaching as well as musical teaching.  Getting your own lessons outside of church is also expected.
• THIS IS HUGE: Being Committed to People for more than what they can (or can’t) do for your ministry.  Being willing to walk with them through the process of finding their right fit in ministry.  We have to earn the privilege to speak the truth in love to people.  When we have earned that, we can give people negative feedback yet they know that they are still loved and cared for.
• Hillsong has a songwriting culture, where all of there songs are reviewed, workshopped, tweaked, critiqued, and developed.  Many people are involved in the process and they even have a pastor who reviews the lyrics to be sure that they are all biblical!
• “Generational Transition” – being mindful that we’ll need to replace ourselves. Being prepared for God to give the increase and being able to accommodate that because leadership has already been developed.
• Hillsong Church: “Church isn’t built on the gifts and talents of a few, it’s built out of the sacrifices of many”
• Worship Leader Real Talk: don’t focus on a ‘dry audience’ or how people aren’t responding – we have to refocus on God in those times rather than be frustrated.  God may be working powerfully in their hearts, but YOU are looking for something you can see with your eyes (and that doesn’t require FAITH).
• Keeping your heart fresh / having a soft heart: Digging into the word is essential, Be led by the Spirit of God.  Keep your spirit nourished and your soul fed.  Have time to get away and do something that you enjoy.
• Proverbs 16:9 – God’s plans prevail – he’s already given us what is actually needed.
• Avoid the temptation to lead the way your leader does.  You have to find your style  – not live to copy another.
• Encourage someone else! See them grow and released into their ministry!
• Be BIG! BE BOLD!

I was totally blessed to hear the song “You’ll Come” being sung by thousands of creatives gathered in the name of Jesus Christ and being replenished spiritually as they sing with arms lifted high “Lord Come, Let your Glory fall as you respond to us. Spirit rain; flood into our thirsty hearts again”. To know that even world-famous worship artist like Hillsong United face frustration and need to be recharged is so powerful!

Breakout Session A: How to Build a Rockin’ Praise Band with Stan Endicott of Mariners Church

Key Points

• Build as much consistency with band members as possible – people have to learn each other and be able to ‘feel’ each other for greater growth and progress
• Communicate as much information as possible about your expectations for the style / grove of a song before people arrive for a rehearsal.  It’s key that people are engaging with the song(s) with this in mind before they arrive.  This also fosters creativity!
• This music is still entertainment so we must create excitement and grab someones attention naturally before we’ll be able to connect to them spiritually.
• I loved this worship lead statement ” Let’s fill God’s house with God’s word” then have the congregation repeat a scripture that leads into a song.
• 70% of music in church is what you’ve rehearsed – the other 30% is padding, fill, and open space – this kind of music needs to be rehearsed as well!
• Listen to the other parts (and be sure the mix is right so you can hear them well). you want the band to fill the entire campus – not everyone trying to paint in the same spot.
• The band / worship team should have the attitude of supporting / helping the worship lead to be the best that he or she can be.
• Key elements in a worship Community: Brokenness and Celebration – we have to bring both if we’re going to have authentic worship TOGETHER.
• Tip to help communicate to your sound guy:  Watch a DVD of your favorite concert – with the sound muted. Identify how the mix should change according to what’s on the screen.
• Tip for rehearsal: LAYERS – if rehearsing 4 songs – rather than spend 30 minutes each on the songs, layer it by doing 7.5 minutes on each song and cycling through so that the team can practice remembering the songs continually.
• Freedom vs. Structure: we’ll learn it exactly as it is written in practice, but be ready for it to be done differently.

Overall the day one was AWESOME… so great that I forgot to eat dinner before the Hillsong Concert!  I came home at 9pm just as excited and full of energy about all this as when I left at 8am!

But NOW it’s time for bed.  Night night!

This is why I love my church!  Willow Creek & Andy Marin: what kind of amazing things can happen from this connection?!  I love that my church is willing to jump into the messy, controversial, never-easy, topic of homosexuality in a way that isn’t fear based or centerd on condemnation or even reacting to the current political and media events.  It’s an honest and informed discussion that I think will help our congregation(s) to mature in how we handle this key topic in our society.

Check out the video or download the audio and listen in your spare time.  The entire 4 week series will be made available online.

After a certain point it became quite clear that giving my life to the leadership of that church and hoping they could fix it was NOT going to be the answer.  It was apparent that they only had ideas on how to keep me away from sinning – but didn’t have tools to deal with this issues of sin and brokenness in my heart.  I chose to move back to Chicago and that was the beginning of the end.  The Pastor stopped returning my calls (and e-mails) and the Overseer no longer had anything to say to me.  I was asked ‘not to touch the mic’ and relieved of all of my serving positions.  There was no direction given for what I needed to do to be restored.  The only engagement I received now was 2nd and 3rd party requests for me to decorate for an event, or do photography, or design a web page.  Eventually God called me away from there to continue to pursue healing, restoration, and relationship with Him (and His people).  In some ways leaving hurt worse than staying.  I didn’t want to give up on the church or restoring the relationship and I still have a great love for the congregation and the works that the ministry engaged in.  But it was obvious that I couldn’t heal there and in fact the wounds were becoming deeper and deeper anytime I attended a service.

I eventually found my current church and connected right away.  But without realizing it, I’ve been quietly carrying the wounds of my previous church experience.  I’m usually not aware of it until I start getting apprehensive about something – like engaging with a leader, or saying no to a serving request, opening up about my struggles, or most recently about becoming an ‘official’ member.  I approached each of these situations with great fear and worry that all the goodness that I was experiencing would suddenly fall apart and in the end I would be rejected – again.  Yet even with all of my worries and doubts, I’ve been met with absolute love and built deeper and healthier relationships than I ever thought possible before.  A lot of this progress has to do with me reclaiming ownership of my life and learning the right way to ‘lay it all down’ for Christ.

In me recounting my story, my friend asked if I ever ‘just cry’. In a lot of ways, I was numb to the pain of what was my life just a few years ago.  If you’d asked me then how I felt I would have said “happy” as I would say now.  But then, I distanced myself from ‘negative things’ like anger, pain, or confrontation.  The difference is that my life is fuller – I can see the positive direction it’s taking, and am starting to have glimpses of what the rest of my life could look like, and I’m fully embracing all the emotions and experiences I have without fear.  I also realize that sometimes I do ‘just cry’.  The main time that comes to mind is on many Sunday afternoons after a beautiful morning of worship and fellowship I become absolutely overwhelmed with gratitude for all that God has brought me through.  I’m so full of Joy to be in the place that I am now – not an easy place by any stretch of the imagination, but a healthy and safe place where I’m growing all the time.  I feel like crying after I have another transparent and vulnerable conversation where at the en I’m not judged but rather have grown closer to the person who I’ve shared with – and who also has shared with me!  I feel like crying when I see the positive impact that the changes that are taking place in my life are having on others who are close to me.

I love that I’m in a grace-filled community where as our interim campus pastor Todd put it – “we can bring it all – full funk – and let God transform our lives”.  The words of the song we sang in worship this morning are ringing truth in my ears:

“Take me to that place, Lord
To that secret place where
I can be with you, you can make me like you
Wrap me in your arms, wrap me in your arms, wrap me in your arms”

If we are the body of Christ then indeed, I’m being embraced by God’s arms and where I’m safe and being made more and more like Jesus each day.

It is my hope that everyone comes to a place of total embrace by God’s arms.  That we all experience the utter forgiveness and love of God through what Christ has done.  That every congregation lives out the realization that Bill Hybels says so often:  the local church is the hope of the world.

I’m just thankful and can’t find all the words to say it right now.  I just wanted to mark this day and thank God for it.

Saint Xavier University – 3700 W. 103rd Street – Chicago, IL

http://afcupperroom.org/2009/03/10-year-service/

Hi Friends and Fam,
I promised several of you that I would send out information for the event that is taking place tomorrow night. I’ve been a bit vague on details ( I didn’t plan this… I only did the flyer    ) but I wanted to be sure to follow up on letting you guys know what’s going on in my world(s).

On Friday, March, 27 at 7pm the AFC Upper Room will be having a special Worship Service commemorating the first 10 years of the AFC Upper Room Ministry @ Saint Xavier University. If you’ve wanted to know more about what we’re doing on the campus of Saint Xavier, then this would be a great opportunity to hear about the miraculous way that God has formed a community of believers who are living out the Word of God.

If you need further details feel free to contact me. If you can’t make it, don’t sweat it, but do remember our ministry in your prayers!

Tonight we watched Rob Bell‘s Nooma video titled “Bullhorn”.  This is our second week of watching his videos and the second time I wasn’t quite on the same page as most people who rave over his videos.  I think they are good, but at times I challenge the challenges he gives.  In this particular video, the focus was on the “bullhorn” street-corner preacher who’s primary message is condemnation and fear.  And while I don’t believe in that approach either, I think he may have thrown the baby out with the bath water.  The point of the video was that we would show and be love – that Love be our message – and I agree.  I just think that the ‘bullhorn’ guy may have also gotten stereotyped as all bad.  Way Of The Master is a ministry lead by Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron that relies heavily on open-air (street corner) and one-on-one ministry.  And while I’m not 100% on-board with all of their approaches or teachings, I do think that their boldness and challenge is ALSO needed in our world.

((EDIT: I found Todd Friel of Way of the Master Radio’s response to “Bullhorn” check it out!))

I guess I’m this way because my born-again experience came through someone making a pretty bold challenge by asking “what does God want for your life” but also having a bible study conversation that showed me what the Word says with conviction and the life-giving grace that is available through Jesus Christ.  That has been my “preaching style” ever-since I began to minister to others.  It was one of the things that drew me to my current church – that balanced message.  My previous church was heavy on the condemnation and would judge just about everybody (else).  In coming to my current church, I came with the expectation (From the former church) that everyone else would preach a ‘watered-down’ message free of conviction.  I was pleasantly surprised to hear conviction that was FULL OF GRACE – it brought me to tears.

I said all that because I’m finding out more of who I am in Christ.  We’re called to be like Jesus – who was full of grace and truth.  I want to live the balance of grace and truth – to have a life that is marked by Love.

As our group talked about these issues, it raised lots of uneasy questions that don’t have quick answers.  I thought that was very healthy for us.  To me, it’s essential to question and understand what you believe and why.  I love that our group can tread in those uneasy waters together.  I was so excited coming home on the bus that I couldn’t read my book! As I would read a line on the page, my mind would wander back to something we discussed or just imagining the potential of how God may challenge each of us – and how I’m being challenged right now.

I don’t know where things will go from here, but the lyrics to one song in particular captures it all.  I have a heart for those who have questions, for those who fall outside of the lines of being ‘fit’ for God and ‘acceptable’ but who yearn for relationship with Him.  I want everyone to know that no matter what people have told in condemnation and rejection that God loves you and Jesus is the way to a full relationship with Him.  So much influences us and raises doubt to the story of Jesus and his Message.  But God is big enough to handle that – he can help our unbelief. Check out this song “What If” by Nichole Nordeman and be blessed.