Your Brain Can’t Handle Your Facebook Friends

LINK: Your Brain Can’t Handle Your Facebook Friends

Check out the above link for a quick and interesting article about the Number Robin Dunbar is credited with defining. Basically, he asserts that people can only maintain about 150 meaningful relationships and beyond that the connection deteriorates.

I’d observed this same principal when I noticed how small churches that are very focused on their pastor ‘max out’ at around 200 members.  I said that in a scenario like that, there are only so many people who are able to genuinely connect to the pastor or leader. When his limit is reached, it cuts off new people to the ‘appeal’ of that community.  Those who come in after that number has been reached, never feel connected and simply drift away to another church or community.

I think it’s important that we are mindful of these kinds of numbers when we think about our own leadership and relationships.

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  • I have mixed feelings about that, especially with regard to the church.

    On the one hand, I definitely have seen a difference at small churches. When you’re not there, you stand out immediately and people will call or stop by to check on you. It’s much more of a family connection. There is also more fellowship in smaller churches, and people do more to embrace you and invite you to join their clubs and choir or other church groups. I know a few small churches I have attended where everyone notices that you’re a stranger and will come up to you immediately to say hi and introduce themselves. In the larger churches, nobody would even notice if you, and there is usually a blanket call for you to join church groups. It’s more impersonal than in a small church. The minister is definitely more able to do the job that I believe was meant for the minister to do if it is a small church.

    But on the other hand, even a large mega church could still have value to some people. Some people have a hard time fellowshipping one-on-one and they do better blending in. Even though they may not want to be a part of the fellowshipping, they still may get something from the message or from the song or be moved by the overall service. People are at varying stages in their spirituality and they grow at different rates. So, the large church may be what some people need to help start that growth process. If you’re someone who has difficulty talking with strangers being embraced by them, the family nature of the smaller churches could be the thing to keep you from coming.

  • I have mixed feelings about that, especially with regard to the church.

    On the one hand, I definitely have seen a difference at small churches. When you’re not there, you stand out immediately and people will call or stop by to check on you. It’s much more of a family connection. There is also more fellowship in smaller churches, and people do more to embrace you and invite you to join their clubs and choir or other church groups. I know a few small churches I have attended where everyone notices that you’re a stranger and will come up to you immediately to say hi and introduce themselves. In the larger churches, nobody would even notice if you, and there is usually a blanket call for you to join church groups. It’s more impersonal than in a small church. The minister is definitely more able to do the job that I believe was meant for the minister to do if it is a small church.

    But on the other hand, even a large mega church could still have value to some people. Some people have a hard time fellowshipping one-on-one and they do better blending in. Even though they may not want to be a part of the fellowshipping, they still may get something from the message or from the song or be moved by the overall service. People are at varying stages in their spirituality and they grow at different rates. So, the large church may be what some people need to help start that growth process. If you’re someone who has difficulty talking with strangers being embraced by them, the family nature of the smaller churches could be the thing to keep you from coming.