I just got back from an AWESOME time in the Lord. My good friend and awesome worship leader, Lorie Smith, invited me out to a concert tonight. The group she sings with “Just Friends” sang at the event– which was not far from me so I walked over to support them. Wow… what a powerful move of God. They sang a song about the presence of God and it put a halt to the entire concert… we couldn’t move past that point – the anointing was so powerful that all we could do was cry out to Him. I only really knew / was close to Lorie there, but God was majorly tugging on my prophetic gift.
The difficult part for me is that since I’ve been a part of my new church, I haven’t been sure what to do with the gifts of the spirit. Willow doesn’t exactly operate in those gifts (an occasional laying on of hands in prayer, but that’s about it). Yet I felt called to be there – in particular to offer my gift of worship in ways that would help others to be free to worship God. I would often ‘hold back’ when in worship, but more and more I’m just letting go and letting God have all of me… whether I’m on stage or in the congregation. I was often afraid that someone would say “you’re doing too much” but what I’m finding is that the more I let go, the more it is embraced. I’ve had a few conversations with people that have confirmed the gifting that I thought I needed to hide. But once again… here I am –at a concert this time in someone else’s church– in a place where I don’t know what’s ‘appropriate’ or the accepted norm, but I feel God expressing what is the desire of His heart. So I shared with the pastor what God gave me to say it was EXACT CONFIRMATION of what he was hearing from God: “Dance like David Danced in the Presence of the Lord”… next thing I know the whole church is dancing spontaneously and unrestrained for 20 minutes straight! Amazingly enough, we transitioned out of that with heart-felt dance from their liturgical dance team. It all just confirmed to me that God wants to use me in this way. The pastor even said it over the mic “I don’t even know this man, but he confirmed exactly what God put on my heart”.
Gosh… that was an amazing refreshing for me. I’m going to have to write more about this later, but there just seems to be some undeniable ways in which God is working. It never was about my ability or quailfication, rather it’s about God’s purpose and mission. I’ve been guilty of relying on and being disapointed with my own ability in leading worship – feeling ‘not good enough’ or ‘not strong enough’ – then I was reminded that my most powerful times of ministry have been when I forgot about me and everyone else and focused on God alone. Times of being totally yeilded to His move and his plan. Times of seeing healing, changed lives, and broken hearts restored.
Sunday’s service at Willow was AWESOME… indeed God was glorified in that offering of Worship. I really believe that as we open ourselves to enter into God’s presence – totally open and unashamed that our lives – however broken and wounded will be healed and that his Glory will be revealed.