I don’t know where to begin.  Some of everything is going on right now.  Part of me is excited about my business – I’m starting to see how to do things to make this thing profitable and more professional.  I’ve got a bunch of ideas in my head but I haven’t executed most of them.  The music ministry is doing well at church, I still feel like I’m flying every time I serve there.  I’m half-way through an awesome 9-week workshop that I’m taking at church called “Solutions” where we’re studying the book “Changes That Heal”.  That group and book are changing my life in profound ways.   I’m looking at my relationships differently and taking responsibility (ownership) for my life.

At the same time I’m anxious, feel weak, am afraid, and in some ways just don’t know what to do.

This week I started looking for work.  For my current main income, I’m only paid per project – and I’ve had almost no projects this month.  That means I’ve got to find another source quickly.  That makes me axious.  Then I’m dealing with the fact that I’ve gained yet another clothing size – so starting this week I’m going walking in the mornings, but it’s only Tuesday and I can barely drag myself out of the house.  I’m really begining to push against my addictive paterns, for the first time in a long time, I want to take active steps to overcome… but I feel so weak and haven’t done a great job this week.  Let’s not even begin to factor in the unrest in our economy right now.

I realize that I’m on the edge of change — it just happens to be in about 973 areas of my life all at once.  I’m thankful that I have things to look forward to in my week, that I’m building some friendships and support, and that God is my strength.  I just want to know that everything will be ok.

Lord, I need you so.  Father… HELP ME… HELP US ALL.  Hosanna!  (“Save Us Now. We Beg you”).  Amen